The Duke Stops by From Beyond Hollywoodland!
"World War Z vs Cowboys and Aliens"
by Paulette Reynolds
November 3, 2013
"World War Z vs Cowboys and Aliens"
by Paulette Reynolds
November 3, 2013
(Delivered in a laconic manner, almost bordering on morose. *)
“The name's Duke, and I don't mind telling ya I'm plumb confounded by what I'm about to say. Yep, Miss Cine done asked me to do this here "guest review", and I laughed and told her, "that'll be the day". But the little gal reminded me that I owed her a favor, so...(kicks at the floor)...I expect to pay my way, even in this dang crazy place that I done found myself in. (Looks around while trying not to look confused.) I kinda figured I couldn't mess it up any more than those chunkheads that write for them fancy magazines - that Ebert feller comes to mind. (shrugs)
I know you'd be obliged if I'd come to the point, so let me get right to it. Now when I was makin' movies, the Hero was strong, silent, and knew how to get the job done. That don't mean they were all entertaining, you get what I'm hintin' at, don'tcha?
Two movies come to mind and I kinda figured I'd say my piece about 'em. Yessir, the first one was a real snap dragon, called 'xcuse me, Cowboys and Aliens, 2011. Yep, that's what I said - aliens! Now what's an alien? Some strange varmit from another planet, flyin' around in a big metal spaceship. Well, that's what they tell me, likeaways.
As long as I live, it never occurred to me to put two genres together in one picture - not thataway nohow! Just plain unnatural, but writer Scott Mitchell Rosenberg put pencil to paper, smoked somethin' funny and then came up with cowboys fighting off an alien invasion. That's what I said, pard - aliens-and-cowboys, in Arizona’s 1800s!
Well, it looks like we got ourselves surrounded by a whole lot of stupid, but they cast a REAL MAN as the hero. Yep, Daniel Craig rode in and saved the day, even if he was wearing that girly-lookin' bracelet. Alpha males Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, Keith Carradine and Paul Dano do help to spin this tall tale. And before the womenfolk out there get whupped up to a frazzle, feelin' left out - there's Olivia Wilde, armed and sassy, shootin' it out tougher than a scabby buffalo's rump stuck in a beehive. That director, Jon Favreau, manages to blend western sensibilities with sci-fi excitement purty darn good - I think Mr. John Ford might be right pleased by this story.
But as long as I live, don't ever ask me to say anything good about World War Z, starring pretty-boy Brad Pitt, anorexic Mireille Enos, and a whole mess of silly-looking zombies. Near as I can tell, a zombie is a demon, raised up from a dead person. I knew there was something mighty fishy about this tinseltown turd when the most exciting thing about it was the June 2013 poster. Whada yadda want me to do, draw ya a picture? Think B.O.R.I.N.G. If ya like watchin' Braddy-boy takin' a whole lotta planes, lookin' like a sickly mope while he's runnin' down hallways and freezin' up when the maggoty-faced deadheads bare their teeth - then this ain't no time for singin', nor prayin' - this is the film for you.
There's no need to make more of it than that, 'cept to saddle up and make a choice. Hell, I don't much care either way - see both of them, if that's your viewing pleasure - or poison. As for me, I gotta be movin' on. I done paid my debt to Miss Cine - she's a strange one, and that's a fact. Adios, pards.”
(Duke adjusts his cowboy hat, gives a short nod of good-bye, and rides off into the mist.)
[John Wayne, Academy Award film icon for over 50 years, scorched the screen in classics Stagecoach, The Searchers, True Grit, The Quiet Man, Red River, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, Sands of Iwo Jima, The Alamo - just to name a handful. Rent a few, DVR several more and enjoy an actor who challenges us to be brave, no matter what we may face. Hey - is that "Happy Trails" I'm hearing in the background?]
[Additional dialogue from The Searchers; 1956, starring John Wayne, Jeffery Hunter, and Vera Miles.]
“The name's Duke, and I don't mind telling ya I'm plumb confounded by what I'm about to say. Yep, Miss Cine done asked me to do this here "guest review", and I laughed and told her, "that'll be the day". But the little gal reminded me that I owed her a favor, so...(kicks at the floor)...I expect to pay my way, even in this dang crazy place that I done found myself in. (Looks around while trying not to look confused.) I kinda figured I couldn't mess it up any more than those chunkheads that write for them fancy magazines - that Ebert feller comes to mind. (shrugs)
I know you'd be obliged if I'd come to the point, so let me get right to it. Now when I was makin' movies, the Hero was strong, silent, and knew how to get the job done. That don't mean they were all entertaining, you get what I'm hintin' at, don'tcha?
Two movies come to mind and I kinda figured I'd say my piece about 'em. Yessir, the first one was a real snap dragon, called 'xcuse me, Cowboys and Aliens, 2011. Yep, that's what I said - aliens! Now what's an alien? Some strange varmit from another planet, flyin' around in a big metal spaceship. Well, that's what they tell me, likeaways.
As long as I live, it never occurred to me to put two genres together in one picture - not thataway nohow! Just plain unnatural, but writer Scott Mitchell Rosenberg put pencil to paper, smoked somethin' funny and then came up with cowboys fighting off an alien invasion. That's what I said, pard - aliens-and-cowboys, in Arizona’s 1800s!
Well, it looks like we got ourselves surrounded by a whole lot of stupid, but they cast a REAL MAN as the hero. Yep, Daniel Craig rode in and saved the day, even if he was wearing that girly-lookin' bracelet. Alpha males Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, Keith Carradine and Paul Dano do help to spin this tall tale. And before the womenfolk out there get whupped up to a frazzle, feelin' left out - there's Olivia Wilde, armed and sassy, shootin' it out tougher than a scabby buffalo's rump stuck in a beehive. That director, Jon Favreau, manages to blend western sensibilities with sci-fi excitement purty darn good - I think Mr. John Ford might be right pleased by this story.
But as long as I live, don't ever ask me to say anything good about World War Z, starring pretty-boy Brad Pitt, anorexic Mireille Enos, and a whole mess of silly-looking zombies. Near as I can tell, a zombie is a demon, raised up from a dead person. I knew there was something mighty fishy about this tinseltown turd when the most exciting thing about it was the June 2013 poster. Whada yadda want me to do, draw ya a picture? Think B.O.R.I.N.G. If ya like watchin' Braddy-boy takin' a whole lotta planes, lookin' like a sickly mope while he's runnin' down hallways and freezin' up when the maggoty-faced deadheads bare their teeth - then this ain't no time for singin', nor prayin' - this is the film for you.
There's no need to make more of it than that, 'cept to saddle up and make a choice. Hell, I don't much care either way - see both of them, if that's your viewing pleasure - or poison. As for me, I gotta be movin' on. I done paid my debt to Miss Cine - she's a strange one, and that's a fact. Adios, pards.”
(Duke adjusts his cowboy hat, gives a short nod of good-bye, and rides off into the mist.)
[John Wayne, Academy Award film icon for over 50 years, scorched the screen in classics Stagecoach, The Searchers, True Grit, The Quiet Man, Red River, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, Sands of Iwo Jima, The Alamo - just to name a handful. Rent a few, DVR several more and enjoy an actor who challenges us to be brave, no matter what we may face. Hey - is that "Happy Trails" I'm hearing in the background?]
[Additional dialogue from The Searchers; 1956, starring John Wayne, Jeffery Hunter, and Vera Miles.]
COPYRIGHT 2012/2016. Paulette Reynolds. All CineMata Movie Madness blog articles, reviews, faux interviews, commentary, and the Cine Mata character are under the sole ownership of Paulette Reynolds. All intellectual and creative rights reserved.
