Film Franchise Meltdown
by Paulette Reynolds
July 18, 2013
by Paulette Reynolds
July 18, 2013
Sometime we find ourselves up during the wee hours, all bleary-eyed and fingers stuck on the remote, realizing that we've wasted over four hours in Channel Surfing Hell. We late-night (or early morning) cinephiles are often left to view cheesy infomericals, forgettable independent films and that modern take on the old-fashioned serials, the super-sized movie franchise.
Modern Hollywood movie franchises follow a typically predictable brick road of thin plot and a lone male hero who will save the world in just under 150 minutes. Why would we bother to watch that long? Ah, because of the virtual non-stop action along super highways, desert roads and crowded metropolis streets. Often humor, hyper-sexualized women and exotic locations are tossed in to relieve the eventual boredom that can result from such monotonous film fare. And if the film is really under two stars, the addition of aliens, super heroes and ethnic minorities can pack them into a movie theater just in time for the summer season.
The Transformers series, based on a popular comic, began in 2007, yet after three films is beginning to test our faith - not to mention nerves - as it approaches number four. Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon has our young male hero, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), running around aimlessly, whining about not getting to play with his action figure friends now that he's officially an "adult". The thin plot line, shallow characters, and endless action sequences frustrate him - and us - at every turn. His new squeeze, Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), played by pouty Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, is given too much screen time, proving that Ms. H-T is in serious need of acting lessons and a shorter name. Talented co-stars - John Turturro, Frances McDormand, and John Malkovich - brought their big names and little else to this bloviated mess of a movie. But hey, Hollywood made over a billion bucks, proving once again that their shrewd knowledge of their demographic audience trumps talent every time.
Begun in the late 1980s, the Die Hard films have lasted longer, perhaps because of the long stretch between movies and the lasting power of its iconic star, Bruce Willis. A Good Day to Die Hard features veteran male hero John McClane, as he tries to have some quality family time with his son in the midst of the usual ball-to-the-wall carnage. Here too, the thin plot line, shallow characters, and endless action sequences get in the way of our viewing displeasure. Co-star Jai Courtney, as his son Jack, easily gets my award for the most robotic role in a decade. The only saving grace of this movie is Sebastian Koch, as Russian political activist Yuri Komarov and Yuliya Snigir, playing his daughter Irina, who both get too little screen time. This film is supposedly Willis' last Die Hard venture, and sadly it tanked at the box office, only netting $300. Knowing that Hollywood never lets any franchise go to waste, it's nice to know that my grandchildren can look forward to a Die Hard relaunch in future decades to come.
Modern Hollywood movie franchises follow a typically predictable brick road of thin plot and a lone male hero who will save the world in just under 150 minutes. Why would we bother to watch that long? Ah, because of the virtual non-stop action along super highways, desert roads and crowded metropolis streets. Often humor, hyper-sexualized women and exotic locations are tossed in to relieve the eventual boredom that can result from such monotonous film fare. And if the film is really under two stars, the addition of aliens, super heroes and ethnic minorities can pack them into a movie theater just in time for the summer season.
The Transformers series, based on a popular comic, began in 2007, yet after three films is beginning to test our faith - not to mention nerves - as it approaches number four. Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon has our young male hero, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), running around aimlessly, whining about not getting to play with his action figure friends now that he's officially an "adult". The thin plot line, shallow characters, and endless action sequences frustrate him - and us - at every turn. His new squeeze, Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), played by pouty Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, is given too much screen time, proving that Ms. H-T is in serious need of acting lessons and a shorter name. Talented co-stars - John Turturro, Frances McDormand, and John Malkovich - brought their big names and little else to this bloviated mess of a movie. But hey, Hollywood made over a billion bucks, proving once again that their shrewd knowledge of their demographic audience trumps talent every time.
Begun in the late 1980s, the Die Hard films have lasted longer, perhaps because of the long stretch between movies and the lasting power of its iconic star, Bruce Willis. A Good Day to Die Hard features veteran male hero John McClane, as he tries to have some quality family time with his son in the midst of the usual ball-to-the-wall carnage. Here too, the thin plot line, shallow characters, and endless action sequences get in the way of our viewing displeasure. Co-star Jai Courtney, as his son Jack, easily gets my award for the most robotic role in a decade. The only saving grace of this movie is Sebastian Koch, as Russian political activist Yuri Komarov and Yuliya Snigir, playing his daughter Irina, who both get too little screen time. This film is supposedly Willis' last Die Hard venture, and sadly it tanked at the box office, only netting $300. Knowing that Hollywood never lets any franchise go to waste, it's nice to know that my grandchildren can look forward to a Die Hard relaunch in future decades to come.
COPYRIGHT 2012/2016. Paulette Reynolds. All CineMata Movie Madness blog articles, reviews, faux interviews, commentary, and the Cine Mata character are under the sole ownership of Paulette Reynolds. All intellectual and creative rights reserved.
